Hey Jim and Kathie, welcome to the neighborhood!

Off to a bad start due to parking and dogs barking issues

BEND, Ore. - We moved into the River Rim neighborhood in Southwest Bend in January and got off to a good start, greeted by some of the new neighbors with smiles.

Apparently that changed last week when Mikey, one of our kids, came home from school in Pullman and parked in front of our house. In most neighborhoods, that wouldn’t be a problem to park in front of your own house, but it is here because of a sign on the street that says: “No parking on this side of the street.”

The sign is there so that neighbors can drive both ways at the same time. If a car is parked on the street, one driver would have to wait for the other because the street isn’t wide enough for two cars to drive by each other at the same time.

I think it’s a dumb ass rule, one that I’ve never seen in any other neighborhood I’ve ever lived in or driven through. No one ever thinks it’s a big deal to have to wait, what, five seconds for one driver to go through, then it’s your turn.

But it’s a strict rule here I guess, and Mikey was a violator, which caused one neighbor to leave the note at the top of this post on his windshield.

If it were me and I was upset about someone violating that dumb ass rule, I would have knocked on the violator’s door and just said something along the lines of: “Hey, I don’t want to come off like a jerk, but wanted to let you know that you might be ticketed if you park on that side of the street, just a heads up.”

I wouldn’t have confirmed myself as a dick by leaving the note that the dick left on Mikey’s windshield. And he’s clearly someone with a small dick since he didn’t leave his name.

I talked to Jason Puckett about what happened Monday on his podcast at PuckSports.com. He thinks I should go door to door to find out who wrote the note. I might do that for entertainment purposes on his podcast, but might not because who knows, if you’re a big enough dick - or small enough dick in this case - to leave a note like that on someone’s windshield, who knows what you’re capable of? The guy might greet me with a gun and that would be a shitty way to go and could have certainly been avoided if I had simply just bitched about the dick in a Substack post.

I’ll give the dick this - he’s right, Mikey shouldn’t have parked there. He’s also right about our dogs. We haven’t intentionally left them at home so they could bark nonstop and bother the neighbors. We didn’t know that was happening. I’m guessing when we leave the back door open for them to do their business outside, that’s when the barking happens. River, in particular, is not used to having his backyard next to an active park, and that activity caused him to bark.

So in hopes of rectifying that issue, when we leave our dogs home in the future, we’re not going to leave the back door open.

My wife - being the alpha female that she is - has already started her door-to-door search and talked to a nice neighbor named Candy, who assured her that she would do some sleuthing of her own to see if he she can ascertain the identity of the dick.

It’s one thing to leave a note on someone’s windshield like the dick did, but it’s quite another to leave it anonymously - a pussy move by anyone’s definition.

If I go door to door, I’m curious to see if I can tell if someone’s lying about writing the note or if they just come right out and say, “yeah, I wrote it” and then tells me all the ways I’m a crappy neighbor. I’d appreciate that more than if someone says he didn’t write it but I can tell that he did by his awkward and uncomfortable body language.

In the comments section, if you want to tell me how to proceed, please do. And if you agree with the small dick, that’s fine too, I can see that I have work to do in the good neighbor department.

Thanks for stopping by and reading. Hope you have a better day than the small dick does.

Go Cougs.